Four months old -really ?!?!?

Ever since Ben was born, people have told us "They are only little for so long...They grow up so fast, etc." and while I know that they were being serious, it has still completely surprised Mike and I that Ben is already over four months old. . . I keep hoping he will somehow stay small, stay this way and the growing will taper off and it won't seem as though he is literally growing by the day. As for now, he is wearing 9 month and 12 month sized clothing and he is in the 98% for height. We have his four month check up on Tuesday, so I am anxious to get the official height and weight. Aunt Elisabeth's scale said 17 pounds last Wednesday...we shall see. In the meantime, here is a recent picture that Mike snapped - isn't he precious?

Catching up...Happy Halloween!

So I realize that I am a big slacker for almost making it to Thanksgiving without any pictures up from Halloween. There was a lot going on that weekend and I am sad to say - this night seemed like it was over so fast. Then again, we did only trick or treat at five houses, so it went by fast. The weather was cold and wet, but Fiona and Ben had a blast together and I was very grateful for those memories. Also, I thought it was adorable that Fiona asked for "two please" because she wanted Ben to have a piece of candy as well - such a sweet cousin! Ben was a caterpillar and was a pretty good sport about the whole costume thing especially since it was keeping him so warm. He was adorable of course and had lots of fun being held by Daddy. . . here are some of the better shots.

Missing Grandma...

I'm sorry it's been awhile. . . as some of you probably already know, my Grandma on my Dad's side passed away rather unexpectedly on the 29th of October. It has been a difficult couple of weeks and I find myself thinking about her and all that she meant to me often throughout the day. Mike and I have always known how lucky we are to have had most of our grandparents throughout our childhoods and into our adult lives. I think it's what makes it harder to lose them at an older age. I am so used to having Grandma around that it's difficult to remember that she's gone. . . Her health had been declining for awhile, but still, I selfishly wanted her to stick around. I wanted to be able to pick up the phone and call her, hear her laugh at family gatherings, wait for her to bust out with her favorite "Hot Damn" and just be able to send her a card to let her know that I am thinking of her. Instead, I find myself remembering so many things that she did for me as a child and I am oh so grateful that she is in a better place.

I just put Ben down to bed and he is wearing new pajamas (size 9 months). . . how can that be when he is only 15 weeks old today? They are a soft pale blue color with a little puppy and turtle on the bottom left leg...I love to see Ben in baby soft clothes. Of course he is adorable in everything, but there is something about a baby with soft colors on them that makes their skin seem almost ethereal - like they're so fresh from God that they still have a little heaven in their skin and their smell. I think that's why holding a baby is so good for our souls. It's like a little piece of heaven on earth - just enough to keep us going until we get to the other side. I have been thinking a lot about those on the other side today... It rained all day long and Ben and I both got a little stir crazy and cranky - we had a late trip to Barnes & Noble tonight just to get out of the house (Daddy had a late meeting, so he couldn't join us.) I had a pumpkin spice latte (decaf of course!) and we strolled around looking at books and cards (of course) and finally settled on a new journal for me. It was pink and had verses from the book of Psalms scattered all throughout it and it made me miss Beth terribly. It is difficult to comprehend that this Friday will mark 6 years since Beth made it to the other side. . . it seems at times she has missed so much that it feels like she has been gone even longer and yet, I feel her so close at other times, it's like she can't possibly be gone. Every time I read a book with Ben, I think of her. I will always remember Beth reading to all of the children and how much they loved that time. It forces me to remember that reading a book to Ben RIGHT NOW is always more important than cleaning up or folding laundry or checking e-mail. I have to take these moments as they happen and scoop them up like the treasures that they are. Time is too fleeting and these moments are too precious not to savor them down to the last drop.

By the way, Ben had his 3 month check up last Thursday the 22nd. It was Mike and I's 4th wedding anniversary and we just smiled at each other thinking about how wonderful it is to see how our falling in love has led to this little person being created and entrusted to us by God. What an anniversary gift! Ben weighed in at 15 lbs. 13 oz. (88%) and measured 26.5 inches (98%) Suffice it to say, the kid is eating good in the neighborhood and thriving...it makes me feel like the best Mom ever to watch him put on weight and grow like a weed - it's just amazing that my body is making the food that is making this happen. I am so grateful that breastfeeding has been such a positive experience for both Ben and me.

Well hell, I can't figure out how to make this picture turn right side up...again, working on the whole technology side of things. . . At any rate, I wanted to post this for several reasons.

1) Ben is sitting up in his Bumbo chair. He always looks at me like "Hey Mom, don't you know I'm not old enough to sit up yet?!?!?" and I just look at him and say "But you're doing it right now silly!"

2) Ben is wearing his pumpkin hat, which Ann Walker MADE for him and I have put on his head EVERY single day since we have received it...I am a sucker for all things fall and this hat on my child may be the cutest thing ever.

3) The blanket that I draped over the Bumbo is from Janie & Jack - an adorable, but overpriced store that I indulged in last fall when I had found out Mike and I were expecting. I bought this blanket because I loved the weight of it - heavy enough for fall walks, a small, white quilted pattern on one side and then little fall leaves and acorns and the words "Little Acorn" on the other side. I can remember picking up that blanket and wondering whether our little acorn would be a boy or a girl, what it would be like and then just today - taking Ben for a walk in our neighborhood with that blanket and him being 3 months old and just loving every minute of being his mother. How lucky am I to have this job?!?

I came across this quote recently and I just love it. "Nothing in life can hold more joys or more tears, can make you more proud or more tired, or give back more rewards than being a mother." It's a rainy day here in Knoxville so far, so Ben and I are probably going to stick pretty close to home and enjoy some books!